Tolerance and Forgiveness
Bhagavad-Gita 2.14
“O son of Kunté, the nonpermanent appearance of happiness and distress, and their disappearance in due course, are like the appearance and disappearance of winter and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed.”
In the summer time we may feel pleasure from contact with water, but in the winter we may avoid that very water because it is too cold. In either case, the water is the same, but we perceive it as pleasant or painful due to the sense perception or its contact with body.
In material life there are many disturbances. One who has learned to tolerate these disturbances under all circumstances is called Dhira (a sober person) in Sanskrit.
Examples of Tolerance in our day to day life:
1. Cooking in the kitchen even during the hot summer.
2. Swallowing very bitter pills to cure a disease.
3. Getting up early in the morning and going to school after taking a bath. Taking bath regularly even when it is chilly etc.
Therefore Lord Krishna advises Arjuna, tams titiksasva bharata…., to tolerate any pain or inconvenience while doing our duties. Inconvenience is part and parcel of life in the material world --- it is unavoidable.
How we can become tolerant and remain undisturbed under all the circumstances?
à When you understand inconvenience cannot be avoided, you do not pay too much attention to it. This way you can focus on doing your real duties.
e.g. Suppose Its sports period at the City Public school, students eagerly run out of their class room to play their games. Among those students are two friends Jay & Vijay who come across 2 boys Sri & Hrishi who are arguing with each other on who will sit on the swing first.
Sri says He! Hrishi I have come before you! I will sit on swing! You can wait till my turn gets over. Hrishi says no I came before you, so I will first sit on the swing.
From a distance two friends Jay & Vijay are observing this. Jay says He Vijay, watch! These two boys are arguing on point who will sit on swing first. Vijay in reply, Yes Jay, I am seeing. It seems that both of them are bent on sitting on swing first, and least tolerant to wait till others turn gets over. Their argument turns into a quarrel and now they are catching each other’s collar and about to beat each other.
Sri said : how you dare catch my collar, I will punch on your nose if you don’t leave it.
Hrishi said : I will punch on your belly if you don’t allow me to sit first.
Isn’t the problem with boys of today’s generation they can’t even wait for 5 minutes for their turn to play and end up fighting with each other??
Teacher punishes both of them to stand in the corner till the games period ends this will make you more tolerant next time. If one of them had little patience and tolerance they would have nicely enjoyed this games period! Without being tolerant they have missed the whole games period.
Storytime: Unless I receive it; will not come to me!!!
Once Gautama Buddha was on a journey. As he was travelling by foot, one person being angry with Buddha approached him.
Angry person: You make a show of monkhood but are simply useless parasite on the society, there is no scarcity of beggars in our city, get out from here and find some job!!
Narrator: Buddha with serene face just continued to walk without being disturbed by the man’s comment. After some time they halted under a tree to take their lunch and rest a while before proceeding with their journey.
Buddha: my dear disciple why do you look so disturbed, do you want to ask something?
Disciple: Yes master how can that man treat you like that? Why did you forgive him? Such a rogue is worth punishment?
Buddha: Oh! That man who was insulting me on the way!
Disciple: yes, yes!
Buddha: In our journey many people visit us and as a custom they give us gifts, if we need it we accept it and if we don’t need it we don’t accept it. When we don’t accept a gift, where does the gift go?
Disciple: It remains with that person who wanted to gift us.
Buddha: Similarly, if someone insults me with bad words and I don’t accept it then where it will go?
Disciple: it will remain with that person who insulted us.
Buddha: Since I did not pay any heed to his comments, I am undisturbed. If at all you want to have peace of mind in your life this quality of kñamä, tolerance and forgiveness, should be practiced; one should be tolerant and excuse the minor offenses of others.
3. Learning the Art of Tolerance from Mother Earth
The Earth is very tolerant. The earth is constantly abused. Deep oil-drilling, Atomic explosions, pollution and so on, do not help the earth in any way. Yet, mother Earth, tolerate such abuse, continues to provide food and shelter to every living being, generation after generation.
The earth’s lush forests are cut again and again, creating huge wastelands. Sometimes the earth’s surface is soaked by the blood of soldier’s fighting one another in war. Yet, despite all these disturbances mother earth continues to provide the necessities of every living being. One may thus learn from mother earth how to tolerate.
A Short Story: Forbearance of a Mother
A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:
· For cutting the grass: Rs 50 /-
· For cleaning up my room this week: Rs 100 /-
· For going to the store for You: Rs 10 /-
· Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went for shopping: Rs 30 /-
· Taking out the garbage: Rs 10 /-
· For getting good report card: Rs 200 /-
· For cleaning up and raking the yard: Rs 150 /-
· Total owed: Rs 550 /-
Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he had written on, and this what she wrote:
· For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
· For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
· For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.
· For all the nights filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.
· For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge.
· When you add it up the cost of my love is: No Charge.
When the boy finished reading what is mother had written, there were tears in his eyes, and he looked straight up at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you”
And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL.”
No, language could express the power of forbearance of mother’s love for her child.
Ksama: Power of Forgiveness
Lord Sri Krishna Himself gives the clue about this glorious quality “ksamä” in Bhagavad Gita 16.3
“Vigor; Tolerance & forgiveness; fortitude; cleanliness; and freedom from envy and from the passion for honor—these transcendental qualities, O son of Bharata, belong to godly men endowed with divine nature.”
Story time: 2
Story of Jesus Christ for forgiveness.
Jesus, called as the Son of God , also as the Messiah (Christ), was arrested, tried, and sentenced by Pontius Pilate to be scourged, and finally crucified by the Romans. Before being crucified, He was then hung on a wooden cross for six hours (according to Mark's Gospel) between two convicted thieves. During this time, the soldiers affixed a sign to the top of the cross stating "Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews" in three languages. Jesus' only words, as they nailed him to the cross, were, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." He could not have so mercifully and lovingly interceded for his executioners if such thoughts of affectionate devotion had not been the mainspring of his life of unselfish service. The ideas, motives, and longings of a lifetime are openly revealed during a crisis.
Jesus Christ taught his devotees that unless you forgive those who hurt you, God will not forgive you. In forgiving, we are forgiven. Even in the midst of his terrible suffering, the heart of Jesus was focused on others rather than himself. The nature of his love is unconditional and divine.
One can easily acquire this divine nature and develop this quality of “ksamä” by unalloyed devotion to Lord Krishna, especially by chanting His holy names.
